I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
