FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
