Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
