please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
did i just pee glitter
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
