just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
