First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
