I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
This baby is an asshole
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
