The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
