Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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