so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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