we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
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I need you to use more vowels.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
