when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
All I want is dick and wine.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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