Having a random hookup so left but love u
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
