well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
