How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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