I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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