yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
