I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
found the other keg... it's in the tree
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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