the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Iām going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
