You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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