was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
