youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
