We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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