I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
