So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
