Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
