Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
