Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
