new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What drink are we having for lunch?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
