508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
