Screwed.edu
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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