Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
