so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
