Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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