thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
