I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
