So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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