no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
