Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
