No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
