Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
