Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
