i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm passing your future prison.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
