Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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