You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
