whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
