I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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