Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
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