Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
