Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
